Friend Skippng and Starts Shooting Stupid Funny
The fact that aspiring actors, directors, and writers can't find work while this crap is produced is absolutely appalling.
*Disclaimer: I only watched this movie as a conditional agreement. And I see films for free. I wouldn't be caught dead giving my hard earned money to these idiots.
Well, to explain the depth of this 'film', I could write my shortest review, ever. Don't see this movie. It is by far the stupidest, lamest, most lazy, and unbelievably UNFUNNY movie I have ever seen. It is a total disaster. But since my hatred for this movie, and the others like it, extends far beyond one viewing, I think I'll go on for a bit.
I don't know any of the people in the movie besides Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, and Kim Kardashian, but it doesn't matter. They're all horrible, though I think that was the point. The editing is flat out horrible, and possibly blatant continuity errors make this crapfast even crappier than I thought it would be. Now I know that these films are not supposed to be serious at all, but come on, it's film-making 101 that if someone gets a minor facial cut, it should be there in the next shot. AND, if someone gets cut by a sword, there should be blood and at least a cut (though since the Narnia films "get away with it", I'll give Disaster Movie a pass here).
The 'jokes' are thoughtless and mindless physical gags that obviously take after some of the most popular movies of the last year (there's some from late 2007 as well, including 2 of our 5 Best Picture nominees).
You know what the saddest thing about these stupid movies are? I don't care how much money they make, or how many cameos they have, these sorry ass excuses for films are taking away jobs from actors, writers, and directors that truly deserve the attention. Lionsgate, I thought you had better taste than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making this kind of crap. And as for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Burn in hell. You guys are contributing to the decline of western civilization. Correction...you are the CAUSE of the downfall of western civilization.
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I'd thought I'd never see the day when I'd see something worse than Home Alone 4, but with this monstrosity, it just goes to show how much I could be proved wrong.
Disaster Movie gets my vote as the "new" worst movie ever made, and there have been abominations like Home Alone 4, Cat in the Hat and NeverEnding Story 3, but none of them are as terrible as this, and that is saying something. I thought Disaster Movie crude, lazy and looming towards offensive, (what they said about Amy Winehouse was bang out of order) and some of the repeated gags wore well thin before the first attempt was finished. The script was laughable, the writers display no comedic talent and there is a complete lack of laughs, and I am sorry I found the characters very annoying, Giselle especially. The acting was terrible, in all my life, I have never seen such terrible acting, and believe me, I have seen a lot of films with terrible acting. Matt Lanter and Vanessa Minillo were not only given next to nothing to work with, likewise with Tony Cox, but their performances went nowhere. Everyone else was bad too, especially Carmen Electra, whose career I am surprised isn't over yet, in every film she's in, she shows a complete lack of acting ability. The film looked as though it had been shot on a cheap studio set, and even the soundtrack was awful. Plus the title was completely irrelevant, very rarely did it spoof a disaster movie, all it did was try and be funny and failed miserably. Not even the characters spoofed here like Batman, the Chipmumks(a gross ditortion in character and more disturbing than cute and funny) and Hellboy could save this contemptible piece of excrement(I am trying to refrain from swearing, honestly I was seriously considering turning the DVD player off 20 minutes into the movie). My dad and brother told me it was very stupid, but unlike them, I am 17 by the way, I didn't find it entertaining in the least bit. If you want a good spoof try the silly but otherwise hilarious Loaded Weapon 1! Avoid this thing at all costs! I rest my case, 0/10. Bethany Cox
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Someone please put an end to Seltzer's awful career
I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.
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Never has a movie had a More Appropriate Title!
Warning: Spoilers
Having seen the Scary Movie Series and many of the other works by this group of stars and Directors, my hopes for laughs were low...
But even i could not have predicted how bad this really would be...
Within the first 10 Minutes, we see possibly the WORST Amy Winehouse Look Alike EVER in one of the most UNFUNNY Movie Moments ever created... I was never a fan of Miss Winehouse, but dear god - How could anyone find this parody of her even remotely funny?
It seems that the Directors have now reached a pinnacle since the first ideas they ever had... Scary Movie was Rude and Crude and Broke Barriers - It was funny...
... Where this movie is like Epic Movie, Just plain CRUDE! So Crude that it is NOT FUNNY - END OF!
I watched it simply because it was on the TV... I am damn glad I never saw it at the Cinema or wasted my money buying the DVD...
There is an ART to doing PARODY... Being Crude is Great but only if you can do so with Intellect...
These people need to take a step back and look at the works of the Wonderful Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder and many more... They may be old and their humour may not match the new generation, but they had a class that made it work and made it funny!
Face it Fellas... You have no class... And trying to be crude when you have no class means you are just plain crude... And that means you FAIL!
How would I rate this Movie? Sadly, We cannot do Minus ratings... So My honest view is I don't... Not even ONE STAR... But to submit my review I need to add one... And thats all it is getting!
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Haven't we seen this sort of film 1479 times already?! And, it was funnier the other 1478 times.
Warning: Spoilers
This film begins in 100001 BC and we see a caveman fall into a pile of Wooly Mammoth crap. Then, he's attacked by a guy who looks like he's from "American Gladiators" and then an Amy Winehouse look-a-like with fangs. Then he awakens and a Flavor Flav lookalike is in bed with him and his girlfriend in the present. Shortly after this, a dwarf exits the bed and gives the leading man the finger. While parody is supposed to be silly, these images are so random you wonder if the film was written or they just took darts and threw them at story ideas--all very, very fast and all which fell completely flat--and many of which were just very, very crude to hide that it wasn't funny. And this, in a nutshell, is what follows for the next 90 or so minutes--one supposed parody after another after another--none of which made me laugh.
Here are my suggestions should they want to make another "Disaster Movie" or something like it:
1. Less jokes and slow down so you have time to work out the parodies. Quantity is NOT better than quality. Yet, at other times, unfunny skits go on and on and on and on and they had neither quantity nor quality. The Hannah Montana and "Enchanted" bits were beaten like dead horses.
2. Hire professional writers, not squirrels. I know they work cheap, but humor is NOT their forte.
3. Jokes about performing abortions with coat hangers aren't funny. The film DID this and I am sure the entire theater when deadly silent. Like cancer and 9-11, this is NOT a good topic for comedy.
4. Jokes involving dwarfs can work, but generally not. Unless you can get Mini-Me, don't bother.
5. Find talented actors and people who really can do parodies. It would also help if they vaguely look like the subject of the parody. Some did, many did not (like Hannah Montana).
6. "I just s#%$ myself" is not a particularly funny line. Avoid it.
7. Same goes for "suck on my placenta". Not funny.
8. Keep the "Enchanted" stuff--it's not great but compared to the rest of the film, it's gold. Just shorten it A LOT--this skit went on way too long and became 100% stupid. In fact, it was only funny for about 30 seconds.
9. If you're gonna use a lot of actors from "Mad TV", try to get the more talented ones.
10. No poop jokes. Poop is not comedy gold. Poop is just poop.
11. No "Kunk Fu Panda". No.
12. Get rid of Alvin and the Chipmunks unless you are willing to spend more than $13 for the puppets.
13. Keep Beowulf--one of the only funny characters in the film who stayed funny throughout. He came late in the movie, though, and by then I am sure most of the patrons left the theater or killed themselves and never saw him.
14. And, speaking of kill--kill the director, producers, writers and all the actors. I'm not sure if this is legal, but I assume most judges and juries would allow this if they saw the film.
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Disastrous
OK, so "Disastrous" isn't an imaginative barb for this movie, but then there's not a shred of wit to the movie, so....
I saw this movie for free. A friend who said he "pissed his pants" at the trailer had free passes. I think he's incontinent.
A spoof of disaster movies might have been fun. This is not it. A couple disaster movies get referenced, not really spoofed. Instead, the "spoofing" is of recent movies of all genres, and of aspects of current pop-culture. Then again, how current is women's wrestling or the "Head On" commercials?
If there's anything about it that's good, there's the 70 minute or so running time (where did they get 90 minutes?) and Nicole Parker seems like she might be good, if she had good material.
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A Total Disaster.
Warning: Spoilers
Disaster Movie (2008): Dir: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer / Cast: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Gary "G Thang" Johnson, Nicole Parker, Tony Cox: Quite possibly the worst piece of trash released in Hollywood since Gigli. Title fails because it doesn't actually spoof disaster movies. It seems to reference Cloverfield but it really plugged so many references to recent films that the whole film feels like a half assed attempt to gain a quick buck. Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer managed to hit lower than Epic Movie. They seem to believe that just referencing other films and making fun of them is all is needed but they are way off. Whatever happened to writing a screenplay that contains a plot? There are parody films that have done it as Zucker, Abrahams, Zucker proved on more than one occasion. But alas, this film seems content on being low level vulgar with the intelligence of a complete jackass. The special effects look about as fetching as a nasty bout of diarrhea. On top of that are the terrible acting performances led by Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Gary "G Thang" Johnson, and Nicole Parker. Tony Cox was wonderful in Bad Santa, but now he is the guy they call to fill in roles in this junk that nobody else wanted associated with. Since this film doesn't technically spoof disaster films, it renders it a pointless exercise. A disaster in itself and should be flushed down a toilet. Score: 0 / 10
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Not Humorous...in the least bit
I am writing this in hopes that this gets put over the previous review of this "film". How anyone can find this slop entertaining is completely beyond me. First of all a spoof film entitled "Disaster Movie", should indeed be a spoof on disaster films. Now I have seen 1 (yes count them, 1) disaster film being spoofed, that being "Twister". How does Juno, Iron Man, Batman, The Hulk, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Amy Winehouse, or Hancock register as Disaster films? Selzterwater and Failburg once again have shown that they lack any sort of writing skill and humor. Having unfortunately been tortured with Date Movie and Epic Movie I know exactly what to expect from these two...no plot, no jokes just bad references and cheaply remade scenes from other films. Someone should have informed them that satire is more than just copy and paste from one film to another, though I shouldn't say that because some of these actually just seem to be taken from trailers.
There is nothing clever or witty or remotely smart about the way these two write, and I can't believe that some people still pay to see these travesties. It's an insult to the audience, though if they enjoy these films I doubt that they are smart enough to realize that.
Rating: Unfortunately there is not a number low enough (yes this includes negatives) to rate this. This deserves to be in the top 5 worst films of all time, right there with Date Movie, Epic Faliure...I mean movie, and Meet the Spartans. I would rather be forced into a 24 hour "Manos: The Hands of Fate" marathon than watch this slop.
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There's just no point anymore
Really, I could write a scathing review of this turd sandwich, but instead, I'm just going to be making a few observations and points I've deduced.
There's just no point in watching these movies anymore. Does any reader out there remember Scary Movie? Remember how it was original with a few comedic elements to it? There was slapstick, some funny lines, it was a pretty forgettable comedy, but it was worth the price of admission. Well, That was the last time this premise was funny. STOP MAKING THESE MOVIES. PLEASE.
I could call for a boycott of these pieces of monkey sh*t, but we all know there's going to be a line up of pre pubescent annoying little buggers, spouting crappy one liners like, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and, "IM RICK JAMES BITCH" so these movies will continue to make some form of monetary gain, considering the production value of this movie looks like it cost about 10 cents to make.
Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it. Go home, rent Airplane, laugh your ass off, and then silently judge the people that are talking about this movie on Monday. Do yourself a favor.
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Whoever gave this film the green light...should be arrested
because he actually got the red light and thought it was green.
See what happens when you democratize a medium and make it available to everyone. I mean, give someone a bunch of 35mm film stock, a Panavision camera and 25 million bucks, some hot chicks and dorky guys and they think that they can make a movie.
Movies like this are good though!
Because they can't get any worse! And set the Jerry Springer crap bar even lower.
The plot is as thin as Kate Moss and the brain dead humor is lifeless even with real people saying the lines.
Just think, 25 million dollars could have: saved some turtles, fed some people, provided shelter for others, helped Red Cross, built houses in New Orleans, kept in the bank to load out to people needing money, provided 25 good filmmakers with a million bucks each, kept Leslie Nelson alive for a few more years, and could provide a dollar each for some 25 million people.
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is even worse than Meet the Spartans
The writing of this movie is truly inventive. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have figured out how to make movies with no plots, based on movies they have only seen the trailers to, and these movies have such low budgets, that they still make money. Even with the low budget, they have an all star cast, full of bad Madtv actors, Carmen Electra and even the legendary Tony Cox. The acting, writing and direction all sparkle like the latrines of a diarrhea filled bathroom. This movie might be on par with Schindler's List for the amount of laughs, or there lack of. Honestly, though, this movie is one of the most god awful things ever made. Even their last all time low Meet the Spartans was topped in terms of horrible writing and direction, and the current rating of a 1.3 shows that Mr. Friedberg, Mr. Seltzer and their other writing partner Satan can't get much worse.
Disaster Movie...what a title for this, considering not one Disaster Movie is spoofed. Every movie here is one that came out within the last year, many which came out after this piece of garbage was written, and not one of them was a disaster movie. I guess they did a parody of Twister with the cow falling, but being the geniuses these two gems of writers are, they probably haven't seen Twister and just thought it would be funny to have a cow crush Iron Man. I was practically wetting my pants with some of this material. The Hulk's pants fall off, then he's hit by a cow. Duh, haha, duh, that's some good stuff. I think the target audience of this movie must be two year old mentally unstable children, and even they would find the humor a bit too dumb and immature.
Onto the plot of this winner. Will (Matt Lanter) has a dream that he's in 10,001 B.C. and he fights the Wolf from American Galdiators and meets Amy Winehouse who burps for like ten minutes on him, then gives him the Crystal Skull. He wakes up to find his girlfriend, Amy (Vanessa Minnillo) is leaving him for Flava Flave and little man Jojo. He throws a super duper sweet sixteen, despite that he is 25, and then a High School Musical number goes on, and then Calvin (played by the wonderful G. Thang) tries to curve a bullet, then Carmen Electra gets in a battle with other beauty Kimberly Kardashian, then Junie sings, and then later Javier Bardem, Prince Caspian, Hellboy, Batman, Beowulf and a police officer are all played by Ike Barinholtz, and thousands of sub-plots and movie spoofs of every recent movie comes in.
I must admit, I laughed more here than in Meet the Spartans. Meet the Spartans produced about .5 chuckles, where this in total produced maybe 1 chuckle out of stupidity. The laughs were obviously infrequent, considering there was only 1 in this 75 minute collage of badly reproduced movies. The acting is actually not too bad in comparison to Meet the Spartans or Epic Movie, but the overall enjoyment level of none was reduced to less than none. It's sad movies like this could be made (let alone be called movies). This was the most awful putrid flick to ever appear on the big screen, and as long as it makes money, each year we will be treated to even worse movies from these swell writers and directors.
Overall, this was not the best movie around, in fact, it was the worst. Avoid this at all costs. If it was a choice between this movie and death, it would be a tough choice.
My rating: BOMB out of ****. 75 mins. PG-13 for stupid humor and poopoo mouth.
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An honest comment from someone who has actually seen the movie
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the way everyone talks about these guys are as if they are on America's Most Wanted List, boy there is a lot of hate before the release date of Disaster Movie. They have brought us the "stupid" comedies like Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, pretty much all those movies have had the same hate, I can understand why. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are like the kids in high school who just cruised by, just failing every class possible, being happy with the C's and D's, then they somehow get into Princeton because their parents had money or something, it's the exact same thing with movies. The way that I just happen to look at these movies is that they are like a MAD TV spoof, just mindless entertainment. I hated Date Movie, didn't mind Epic Movie, liked Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie is a notch lower than Meet the Spartans. We have recycled jokes from the guy's previous movies, jokes that drag on and on to the point where you'll tear your hair out, and is of course, made badly.
Will has had a dream that he feels like the end of the world is coming. All of a sudden the city is attacked Cloverfield style, he and his friends run around trying to find shelter and figure out what is going on while bumping into one celebrity after another. But even Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, and Hancock can not save this world. Will and his friends realize that they have to save the world on their own and fight evil chipmunks, aliens, and flying cows.
Disaster Movie, actually does have a couple laughs, I will admit that, I nearly died laughing during the Alvin and the Chipmunks parody, it was so badly funny, I just couldn't help but laugh. There are just some fun moments, I think it's ridicules that some people can not admit that. That's the reason for my title is because I saw a lot of comments from users that didn't even involve them seeing the movie, they were just complaining... this isn't the IMDb that I know, it's silly that people are just putting on comments that have nothing to do with their opinion on why they hate the movie before they even see it. Back onto the movie, my main thing that I'm upset with, this movie didn't need a script, it seems as if Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer just made it up as they went along. For some reason we have movies that were literally just released last month like Wanted and Hancock, not to mention The Dark Knight. I think they just coursed their way through this, while the movie has some funny moments, my HONEST opinion, if you want to see this I suggest the rental, this is straight to DVD quality.
1/10
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Awful! Awful! Awful!
This left me speechless......and not in a breath-taking "Shawshank Redemption" type way! I literally wanted to rip my arm off and throw it at the TV it was so bad. My husband and I made a bet with one another as to who could keep watching it the longest........the loser buying the weekend beers! I was quite happy to lose that night. I had no idea what was going on, it kept skipping from one sketch to another with no plot, no reason and NO POINT! Awful acting, awful impressions, awful film! Pretty much is what it says on the tin, A Disaster. Do not watch this movie. You'd be better off stapling your genitals to a table for an hour...it'll be less painful for you!
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It's been several months, and my review was inevitable...here goes...
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer.
I'm generally a defender of the mainstream, but these two....these two....
They embody all that's wrong with Hollywood, hell, with modern film in general.
I hate when people defend them by saying they are satirizing films, they aren't satirizing films THEY ARE REFERENCING films, they are not a mockery of crappy Hollywood excess, they are an EXAMPLE of it. It's like if Michael Bay said his movies were meant to be a satire of excessive CGI and explosions. To do a parody or satire, you must PROVIDE or Impersonate examples of your topic and MOCK them over specific flaws and contradictions, you don't COPY them and change things by adding hip-hop dance sequences or having characters die randomly. It's clear they haven't even watched the films that are 'parodied' here, in fact, several of the films referenced were still being shot and in some cases only starting shooting, thus making effective parodies of those films impossible, and imagine for a moment if 'Hancock' or 'The Dark Knight' were never made and they still included references to those films, would you still consider that 'hip' and 'relevant'?.
And even IF, pray tell, these films were funny, they are still off-topic. 99% of all the 'jokes' have nothing to do with Disaster Movies and those that do are so minor they are negligible. FACT: You cannot parody something effectively if you don't even mention it. Cut out the off-topic scenes from 'Disaster Movie' for example, and you'll only be left with 3, maybe 5 at the most, minutes of film, mostly credits. I don't care if it's the funniest film in the world, if it doesn't in some way deliver what it promises, I'm still not even gonna give it one star. If the titles were meant to be symbolic or something(like how 'Dancing with Wolves' isn't literally about dancing with wolves and Chris Ware's 'Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth' comic is about an adult with autism), it wouldn't matter, but in this case, they specifically say what they are going to do, and then disappoint. And sure a lot of comedies have off-topic jokes, but NOT ONES THAT TAKE UP 98.9% OF THE WHOLE FILM! At least 'Bio-Dome' actually took place in a Bio-Dome!
So I apologize if you get off on being disappointed, sorry, but I'm not. I prefer to laugh when watching a comedy, or at least, have fun.
And even worse, when they DO make actual parodies of something, they only do lame, obvious, predictable jokes even a small child could do just as effectively, if not more so. Oh, so Hannah Montanna's a merchandising whore, WOW I didn't know that!!! It's like some kid who tries to seem smart at the dinner table when his parent's are discussing politics by making political jokes, but who knows nothing about how politics work, so he just say's 'I'm a politician' and makes fart noises with his mouth. Is that cutting-edge and insightful satire? NO. But these idiots seem to think it is, because it's basically what they do, only with 'actors' doing it for them. My review for 'Caltiki' is a better example of satire. And don't call me a snob, because I'm a guy who loves stupid comedy, 'Jingle all the Way' and 'The Stupids' are some of my favorite guilty pleasures, hell, I started a thread about my favorite bad films a few months ago before some troll derailed it because I dared question the audacity of 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' and was recently involved in a flame war with some loser who thinks 'South Park' is a sign of the coming Apocalypse.
So don't blame other people's films, these are crap all on their own.
And if they intend their films to be that way, that just makes it even worse, so they intend to make off-topic, unfunny, parody-devoid, boring, unpleasant films? That just confirms and justifies anything people say and do to them. Even assassination attempts. And if they really do consider their films to be real parodies, then they are one-trick ponies, and since plenty of comedians get grilled for doing a revolving door of the same few tricks,(like the Angry Video Game Nerd swearing too much and beating up guest stars, or Dane Cook being juvenile and unoriginal, although yeah, he is) then these two are the one trick-iest one trick ponies who ever lived, and their only trick is being off-topic.
These films aren't even entertaining in a so bad it's good way, in fact, they are the antithesis of entertainment. I usually never listen to people who say they fell asleep watching a film, as I used to think that that was impossible and although I've done so, it was usually for a number of reasons such as being tired, drunk or forcibly on my own free will to escape a bad film. Well, it's true, these film are so boring they actually will put you to sleep like a lazy student in a cartoon. In fact, if someone could have filmed me 'watching' this garbage, I'm sure there would have been Z's floating over my head.
Ditch this crap, please.
Oh, and for all of you out there who are going to castigate me for paying to see this, I'll let you know I didn't pay a single cent to watch this festering canker sore of a film.
~ The previous review will suffice for your Freidberg-Seltzer film of choice~
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Wait... What?
Honestly, what is wrong with you, Hollywood? Not only is this the WORST thing that has happened to you ---- you keep funding these "cheesy writers of Scary Movie" to make these movies. I mean, come on Carmen Electra, you know even better than them that you have potential! Stop portraying in parody movies!
See, I can't believe I am comparing "parody" to this movie. This movie has no "parody" or "comedy" in it, this is all referencing. All they need to do is see a movie title, take a line and a scene from a trailer, and turn it into a script. Never in my LIFE have I ever been so ticked off by you (Hollywood).
I mean, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, you don't even care for the money, you just want to prove you can be a film-maker too, but that's not the point! Movies are something you should enjoy, and this... this is making bland jokes and pointless (as I may say "comedy) with fart jokes and people being hit with objects... or just getting hurt (but you realize that they are okay)?
Now please, STOP! You're ruining the name of "parody" and you are causing people to hate you even more!
Please, as a warning, DO NOT WATCH THIS.
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The Perfect Title
In general, parody movies are entertaining and recommended when the viewer is upset, expecting to shutdown the brain and laugh with silly jokes. That was my expectation with when I selected "Disaster Movie" on DVD this Friday. Unfortunately this flick is AWFUL and I was incapable of laughing during the long 88 minutes running time. With the due respect the retards deserve, the "directors" and "writers" of this crap certainly have mental or education issues (or both), and I can not imagine how someone sane can produce and put money in this terrible production. The only thing that works perfectly is the original title of this disastrous flick. My vote is one (awful).
Title (Brazil): "Super-Heróis, A Liga da Injustiça" ("Superheroes, The League of the Injustice")
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The irony is very correct.
Since the name of the movie is "Disaster Movie". The basic irony is that it's a ****ING DISASTER! A 90 minute **** flick based on pop culture and movie trailers. My god, Seltzer, retire and live off the money you made from your other below 3 star rated pieces of horse ****, please. Now when you do these type of movies, you're never going to get the "jokes" in 5 years, maybe even 2. They're just wasting their time, not really. They're just wasting our time. But whoever goes and sees this are brainless (Hypocrite moment) but bare with me, I got in for free and I regret it.
A free ticket, and a bad nightmare.
Do not watch this, support other films that are coming out today whom deserve it more.
Come on, do you REALLY want more of these? **** guys, just ****.
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An unfunny disaster
A disaster. Just unfunny nonsense. There is an unending sequence of awful jokes with no relevance for the story (story?!). It could be just one more spoof movie that gets references from the most popular films of the moment. Most of those parodies are bad movies and this could be just one of them. Though, "Disater Movie" was able to be placed among the worst of them as it mixes films which have no relation to each other (10,000 BC, Juno, No Country for Old Men, Wanted, High School Musical, Sex and the City, Indiana Jones, The Chronicles of Narnia, Jumper, Enchanted, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Speed Racer, Night at the Museum, Beowulf, Kung Fu Panda...), and there is no clever idea to make it works as something reasonable that makes sense. It is not the number of referenced movies that makes a parody good. There are some superheroes, like Hancock, Iron Man, Hellboy, the Hulk, Batman... but believe me, they will not save the day! Don't waste your time, just do not watch this messy crap.
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Awful, pure stupidity
This movie I saw a day early for free and I still feel like I got ripped off. It is totally brain dead. Burping, kicking in the groin and boobs all over the place. Lame. What is wrong with society, that films like this even get made? The parodies were all horrendous, and un-funny. The plot was lackluster at best and the acting was shallow, transparent and really quite unnecessary.
Anyone see "Idiocracy"? Remember the movie that won all the academy awards in the future? Well this is that movie. I have not seen a more rancid crappy film. "Date Movie" was okay, The Scary movies at least had decent plots, but this, this makes "spoofs" (if I can be so nice to call it that) for this year 0 for 3, with "Meet the Spartans" and "Superhero Movie" all falling flat.
Well I've wasted even more of my life typing about this sack of cow dung. So all in all, don't see this movie, unless of course your IQ is below 80.
Thanks, R
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100% Disaster !!
Why i went to the midnight showing of this movie i don't know but i guess its better then buying a ticket to this movie. Honestly i cant say i have ever seen a movie as bad as this in my entire life. This movie makes gigli look like an OK movie. There isn't one funny moment in the entire movie it is basically all crappy acting mixed with crappy comedy. The only way you could possibly find this funny is if you are high or have an IQ lower then 30. Kim Kardashian and Carmen ELectra's acting is so atrocious i actually kind of felt sick while watching it. I mean you would be way better off watching KIm's sex tape cause at least its more entertaining then this movie. I highly advise everyone to not see this movie ever and try to get these to directors to never make another god awful movie again. Its kind of sad 2 grown men find this funny. PATHETIC
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Who the hell says teens watch this?
I wish this thing has a lower rating than one, this horrible excuse for a movie, deserves it over and over again. First off, these movies are NOT fueled by dumb teenagers foolish enough to watch them. I'm 15 and even I know this is the biggest garbage ever. I don't watch these movies since Date Movie, because I learned right there that these movies suck. I went to a it with a friend and basically went to see how much it would suck. It sucked major ass. I walked out after a half-hour and hassled for my money back. When was the last time there even WAS a disaster movie? Juno, 10,000 B.C., Don't Mess With the Zohan, Indiana Jones, these are completely irrelevant, as are the hundreds of unfunny jokes ripped off the comedies they spoof (which is stupid as it is to spoof a comedy) and made them even less funny.
Because of this movie, I will probably never watch MadTV again because it ruined my opinion of many of them. They give pathetic, poorly performed excuses for "acting", and showed how horrendously unfunny they can be. (It's worse than when Tina Fey left SNL).
If you want comedy, don't watch this, spoofing is an art, a talent few posses, and these two jack-weeds don't posses it AT ALL. If you want to see good comedy, go to the store and buy Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane!, Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs, Young Frankenstein, Scary Movie 3, and Superhero movie, because those movies are actually hilarious. Some less than others, but SM3 and SHM are far better than 10 Disaster Movies.
So anyone who says that dumb adolescent teens fuel this garbage, think again because this stuff is garbage and I don't watch garbage. (this was an exception because people like my friend fuel this garbage :P.) This films will give you AIDS, makes you lose your hair, make you go blind, become flacid, makes you get a purple sock, this movie will destroy you and your sense of humor. Excuse the graphic descriptions, that's what it does to you, on the inside. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IF YOU DON'T WATCH THIS, THOSE DUMBASSES WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FUND THIS GARBAGE. THINK OF YOUR FUTURES! WHAT IF 80 MORE OF THESE FILMS ARE MADE WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE AROUND. THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!
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Brings a new meaning to Disaster Movie
Warning: Spoilers
READ THIS BEFORE YOU CONSIDER WATCHING "DISASTER MOVIE": DON'T. JUST DON'T.
Since I don't live in USA, there is absolutely no possibility for me to run across Friedberg or Seltzer. Because if I ever did, I will throw them whatever heavy object I have at my grasp right to their faces.
Believe me when I say this. There is no way this piece of garbage (sorry for the comparison, garbage) can have any shred of wit, creativity or thought.
Do not honor it with your attendance at a theater where it is actually shown (even if you get a free admission).
Why, do you ask? What does this "movie" have that can be so bad? Well, it has everything and nothing at the same time. It has all the references (not parodies) of every single movie you have paid good money to see lately. Not just that, they try to make fun of "Juno", a movie whose script by Diablo Cody is light years ahead of Selter and Friedberg's, and "The Dark Knight", a movie that redeems the famed franchise. Schumacher made a genius portrayal of the Dark Cruzader compared to what said idiots have done. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was better than this. The whole "nuke the fridge" scene was smarter than any scene in "Disaster Movie".
It doesn't have any real craftsmanship whatsoever. The only likeliness this thing had to film-making or production was the basic presence of a camera and people in front of it (not necessarily actors). The jokes? That's the joke: There are no jokes. More and more references to celebrities and big movies. And the main thing "Disaster Movie" is missing in the "plot" is... you guessed it! A disaster!
I personally thought "Meet the Spartans" was going to be the end of this "Spoof Movie" era. But they made "Superhero Movie", and now, Seltzer and Friedberg are back! Ahhh! The humanity!
An advice to producers outside the "Spoof Movie" circle. If you want your movie to become a success, mention that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had nothing to do with it. You'll make millions (the only ones who won't see it are pre-teens that have never seen any real movie, and paid to see "Date", "Epic", "Spartans" and "Disaster").
I wouldn't say you should avoid it like the plague, because the plague is funnier, more enjoyable and has a better thought script than "Disaster Movie". It doesn't even deserve to be voted upon.
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How to make a parody without jokes
Whenever someone doesn't like a movie, a common go-to criticism to hurl at it is that it has no plot. In reality, this is usually a load of crap. A movie can have a plot you don't like, or it can have a plot that's a bit contrived, but pretty much every movie has a plot. This brings us to "Disaster Movie". This movie has no plot! I mean, there sorta kinda are four main characters, but they're basically just mannequins who stand there while unfunny things happen around them. The order of the scenes honestly doesn't matter at all, this is almost like a sketch movie but without the punchlines. I'm not a big fan of writing classes (read my reviews for further proof), but what ever happened to the classic story structure where protagonists have to reach some kind of goal while fighting some kind of adversity? Have I just gotten too old-fashioned for the movies, is this the kind of experimental filmmaking that will become a standard for further generations? Well, as of this writing this movie's got a whopping 1.9 rating, so I think I'm safe. Got to admit though, I did laugh once during the otherwise terrible "Sex and The City"-spoof. Sue me, I probably deserve it.
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"Really, Who Gives A F**k"
That's probably what the directors said when making this movie, though that should come as no surprise to anyone at this point. Once again Friedberg and Seltzer have teamed up to drive countless moviegoers to suicide with a new cinematic monstrosity the likes of which haven't been seen since The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.
The acting is terrible. I have no idea who any of these actors are (I refuse to acknowledge Kim Kardashian as an actress after all the awful things SHE'S put out) but pretty much any hope they've ever had of a career was more or less destroyed by this movie. I'm still baffled that Tim Curry managed to survive Scary Movie 2.
The plot... There is no plot. There is no story. There is no CONFLICT. It's just a group of stupid kids going around ripping off every single movie made in recent years (at the time of its release) while tornadoes and other disasters strike the area.
I wish a tornado had struck this movie during production...
And remember how previous Seltzer and Friedberg movies had "parodied" genre films (if you're using the definition of someone who doesn't know what parody is)that they were named after? Of course not, seeing as like me you've tried to pretend these movies never existed up to this point, but humor me on this. The title itself is a complete lie, holding no ties to the genre from which it takes its name other than being a complete disaster in and of itself.
Consider this my review for ALL Seltzer and Friedberg movies: they're all a huge pile of cinematic fodder that should be cremated, buried and forgotten and their creators kicked out of Planet Earth.
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An Honest Review....
Anyone going into this film would automatically assume it would suck. The other films in the ______ Movie franchise have been garbage. Ladies and gentlemen, Disaster Movie is different.
The film is so funny and spot on with the spoofs that I almost died from laughter. All the actors turn in near perfect parodies of their characters. I actually thought I was watching Juno and her baby fight Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex And The City. The guy who played Hancock could be a twin for Will Smith, that is how good he is. He channel the Hancock character so well that I thought I was watching the Hancock sequel.
The film is so witty and on the spot with it's comedy, it feels natural. So natural that there probably was no script. With a film like this, the joke write themselves. Throw whatever story you want in because it's the comedy here that works. On second thought, the story works too. It's leap and bounds over films that have been Oscar nominated. The story centre's around these people and a crystal skull and some disaster that happens. Everything about it works.
The fight scenes are phenomenal. G. Thang plays a character called Calvin, he has a fight scene with a real life panda. Or at least I thought it was a real life panda, the animatronics and special effects in this film will rival Avatar, and it came out a year before it!!! Take that James Cameron. The fight between the two is so well choreographed that it makes Jackie Chan and his stunts look like child's play.
The film has so many unexpected events. Who knew that a meteorite would come crashing down on Kim Kardashian. I sure didn't. Speaking of Kim, she is more than just another pretty face. She was channeling something else here, I think she must have been in character for months before and after this film, because it is just too phenomenal. Daniel Day Lewis should be offering her his Oscar, that's how good she is.
Ike Barinholtz, of MADtv fame, pulls an Eddie Murphy and a Mike Myers, by playing multiple roles. His range is out of this world. Who else could be able to pull off Hellboy, Batman, Beowulf, a police officer and Javier Bardem look a like, and Prince Caspian. I can only think of one man...and that is Ike Barniholtz.
I can't stop recommending this film. It's what the movies and film and cinema is all about. I wish I could watch it everyday for the rest of my life. Which is why I'm giving this the absolute best rating I can possibly give a film like this.
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213644/reviews
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